The funny thing about Fred...

It's so interesting to me, the lengths people go to in order to save another's feelings. In all actuality it just makes things worse. No one wants to hear, "well, you just aren't doing it for me, I'd rather not make time for you, because I'm afraid I'll lose out on a more enjoyable situation over here." I mean that is brutally honest... right...RIGHT? However, these things do occur, and go through our brains. It's not anyone's fault per se... it's just a fact of life. I mean really, if we enjoyed hanging out with every person we met each day, life would be exhausting. Could you imagine, going to the grocery store and truly enjoying the company of each person you passed in the aisle... how long would it take you to get your shopping done? As it is, when I run into a friend, while it's nice, my shopping excursion goes from half-an-hour to an hour in 10 seconds flat.

I digress... Fred... he's this really cool guy that I really want to hang out with, like a lot. Fred, on the other hand has other obligations and/or priorities in his life that make him much less available to me than I would like (and this is something I understand happens, I mean to all of us). I can't say for sure that Fred "just isn't that into me"... but I have to wonder. You see, there's all this talk we've talked in the background... you know plans that have been planned, dreams that have been dreamed, schemes that have been schemed, scenarios that have been scenarioed (LMAO-- all that is truly an exaggeration, but i just couldn't stop)! When it comes down to it Fred just doesn't seem all that interested in the follow through. I'm sure there's all manner of explanation and I won't even pretend I know what is on his mind, but actions do speak louder than words... at least that's what I've heard. ***Please note, Fred is not a bad guy, he's just not doing what I WANT him to do(LMFAO)!

It has been suggested to me that perhaps my expectations are too high, and well, I have stopped, objectively viewed, and concluded that my expectation level seems just about right for the stage of the game we've entered (a metaphor I really DON'T like using). I really want to have fun, and get to know Fred. I want to spend time and get comfortable so that when my goofy ass (TRUST ME IT IS) gets in one of my moods he'll have fun and play along rather than look at me and think I'm crazy (which, let's face it, I am). Even better than that, I want to feel comfortable enough to be full on goofy around him!

On another note I'm not going to make someone I like chase me... I just wasn't built that way... but I've done my best to be a non-clingy, un-meddlesome, non-demanding, independent, keep my business to me and leave his to him type person... I dunno... maybe I'm too grown up this time. Maybe hard-to-get is the way to be... Me Tarzan, you Jane though?? It REALLY just doesn't sit super easy in my gut.

Alas, I think too much and I use "really" too much. Maybe I'm just not ready for this dating/hanging out/wanting to hang out, thing. I'm going to think this through for a while though, it's just my nature, and I think there's an answer, simple or hard in there... Heck if Fred is reading this, he may let me in on an answer I didn't even see... or run screaming... hey, an answer is an answer ;-)