Moment Mirroring a Movie

I remember walking down 5^th Avenue with the cold crisp air waking up my senses and pinching my nose. As the autumn leaves fell I thought, “I am in a movie and that movie is my life. How did I get here?”

I suddenly puzzled, why had I begun the walk from Grand Central Station to Central Park? The memory had faded. I was surrounded by beauty, cold beauty, the kind I like. Ah, yes, it was HIM, that guy, the one that I loved with my whole heart that didn’t love me back, the one that wouldn’t answer my calls, return my text messages, answer my emails. He, in different bodies, with different haircuts and skin colors, has come and gone many, many, oh so many times in my life and he is absolutely an ass, but so am I.

My feet began banging harder as I remembered this one, the one I was walking around to remove from my head and heart on 5^th avenue. It’s the same mantra with me, “What did I do wrong? I thought this was different. He alluded to marriage, children, and a long life together.” Then the wind picked up, I had just reminded myself of why I was there, and then the wind picked up. It cleansed my brain, it brought my attention back to that serene moment and my tread became lighter. He was leaving, soon… I felt it… I’d be free of him.

I unzipped my jacket and let the cold air whip about slipping in through the microscopic holes in my sweater and tickling my skin. I passed under a tree that rained beautifully colored leaves on me. The sky glowed blue with clouds piercing white peeking between the tall buildings. Gigantic structures surrounding me, protecting me: my concrete, steel and glass fortress. The feeling was magical. It was a movie.